What a difference a creak makes

For eight years we’ve all learned the best route to walk across the landing (which is known as the Prayer Landing) between our bedroom and the kids’ rooms.  Depending upon the time of day, you pick your path and run the gauntlet. During the day you charge straight ahead, anticipating precisely each of the gun shot cracks, horror movie creaks and haunted house groans that emerge from the floor...

Mid Life Crisis c/o the Christmas Tree

Saturday 1PM; The raw ingredients are promising;  eight strings of lights (put away super carefully last year), christmas music playing, three willing tweens, two hooked walking sticks and a 14 foot tree from St Clere woodland. 2PM; I’m on my own, I’ve sent the tweens away for their own safety and so they don’t see the major flaws in my character which are emerging.  The first of the eight strings...

Lights, Camera, Action

There’s a story about my parents attending my year 4 parents evening.  The new teacher talked about how I was doing with my times tables and spelling tests etc, and then there was a long pause.  “She’s got a very vivid imagination” she said, apparently rather hesitantly.  “She entertains us all with stories of her pretending to play with Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson, Tony Curtis and Angela Lansbury”.  My...

I wouldn’t want to be in Theresa May’s shoes

After years of hum-ing and ha-ing I’ve finally retired from mediating.  I still believe mediation is the only way to go for separating couples, it makes sense in every way; it should be cheaper, you keep control of what happens to you and your kids, and at the end of the process you should be proud that you’ve ended your marriage in a civil way.  However, being a mediator is not...

The Best Bits

  Unlike accountants who have their year end in April, and the rest of the country who have their year end on New Year’s Eve my year end is the day the kids go back to school in September.  Day One, I clear the surfaces in the kitchen of the summer-holiday-detritus-build-up.  Day Two, I tackle the non-urgent emails that have disappeared off the bottom of my screen in my...